Posts Tagged ‘ethanol subsidies

17
Jun
08

Why Does Baby Jesus Hate Iowa?

Pat Robertson, referring to the 9/11 attacks said, “We have allowed rampant secularism and occult, et cetera, to be broadcast on television. We have permitted somewhere in the neighborhood of 35 to 40 million unborn babies to be slaughtered in our society. We have a Court that has essentially stuck its finger in God’s eye and said, ‘We’re going to legislate you out of the schools, we’re going to take your Commandments from off the courthouse steps in various states, we’re not going to let little children read the Commandments of God, we’re not going to let the Bible be read — no prayer in our schools.’ We have insulted God at the highest levels of our government. And, then we say ‘why does this happen?’ Well, why its happening is that God Almighty is lifting His protection from us.”

Jerry Falwell said to Pat Roberston on the 9/11 attacks, “And, I know that I’ll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger in their face and say “you helped this happen.”

John Hagee said, in response to Hurricane Katrina, “All hurricanes are acts of God because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that.”

Okay. Big bad things happen to bad people. Gotcha.

iowa flood

My question is, why is god mad at Iowa? A very Christian state, I find it surprising that Iowa is experiencing record floods following a plague of tornadoes. Johnson County Emergency Management spokesman Mike Sullivan said, “This is our version of Katrina.” Psalm 148:7-8 says, “Praise the LORD from the earth, Sea monsters and all deeps; Fire and hail, snow and clouds; Stormy wind, fulfilling His word.”

So, Iowa, what’d you do? Perhaps Robertson and Hagee will speak up and give us some insight into this matter since they seem to be so insightful. Alas, Falwell cannot share with us his opinion cause he’s already with Baby Jesus.

Now Baby Jesus is mad. Mad at Iowa. But why?

A quick Google search offers up some ideas:

  • Ethanol subsidies (Huffpo comment by jsarets)
  • Giving Obama an early lead in the primaries (Google Groups)
  • Punishing the scouts for their homophobia (Yahoo India – have to click on the hidden answers)
  • Birthin’ up Tom Arnold (Craiglist comment)
  • It’s just the weather (Rachel Griffiths on Daily Kos)

I don’t think we’ll truly know the answer until one of the esteemed men of god who have such a direct connection with the almighty ask Him to give them the 411. You can email John Hagee Ministries here and ask him, like I did, why god hates Iowa and maybe that will help focus his discussions with god on this topic (you have to fill in your phone number and, fyi, 968-7825 translates into “you suck”).

In the meantime, let’s just hope that Baby Jesus sees fit to let those 36,000 naughty people back into their homes.




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