Posts Tagged ‘2010 election


Rick Perry is a Schmuck of Infinitesimal Proportions

Normally, I wouldn’t give this shit-fer-brains Texas Blagojevich the time of day, but in the interest of my pride as a Texan, I have to comment on Perry’s lastest episode of cerebral diarrhea.

Admitting you live in a state that has elected (excuse me, reelected) Rick Perry as governor and whose senators are Kay Bailey-Hutchinson and John Cornyn must be like admitting you have herpes. While I have no cause to admit the latter, I imagine great scorn emitting from those who are audience to my admission.

perry-douchebagAnd now, with Governor Imbecile saying Texas might have to secede, it is vein-poppingly frustrating to watch the national media equate his statements with me. (Though I shouldn’t talk, having blamed Alaska numerous times for the immersion of Sarah Palin into the national spotlight). Ugh.

Dictator Perry

If Texas were to secede, Perry would try to turn this state into a dictatorship as he is the poster child of political hypocrites giving figurative blow jobs to the corporate industry for cash. In 2007, Perry tried to issue an executive order forcing schoolgirls across the state to be vaccinated with Gardasil. Now, it seemed a bit “conflict-of-interesty” that Merck, the maker of Gardasil, had contributed to Perry’s PAC and some of his staff was on their payroll. Hmm… Very odd.

So, one man, one stupid, megalomaniacal idiot presumes he can dictate the health care of the state’s children. And what is so illuminatingly funny about this episode in relation to his comments yesterday is that the bastard said (while speaking here in Fort Worth, gag me):

I believe it’s (the government) become oppressive in its size, its intrusion into the lives of its citizens..

What a dick!!

So, forcing girls to receive a vaccine that has had widespread, proven negative side effects on numerous females isn’t an intrusion by the government into the lives of its citizens. Risking our daughters’ health for money. He’s not just a dipshit, he’s unethical and immoral. Never before had I actually wished an incurable, acute case of dysentery on someone. Unfortunately, I discovered I had no magical powers of the cursing persuasion. Poo.

The executive order was rescinded after the legislature was threatening action and every rick-perry-merck1demographic of every political persuasion forged a collective anger that grew intensely threatening to the governor. Right wingers were afraid the vaccine would turn all our innocent girls into whores on Main Street and the left wing was seething at the thought of such a violation of civil liberties. I would have been picketing until my extremities bled had the order really gone into effect.

And the man is running for reelection in 2010. Yes, my blood pressure has a visceral reaction to a potential Perry victory.

However, certain realities allay my fears that we will once again see Perry carry the mantle of leadership in our red, but improving Lonestar State.

First, Kay Bailey-Hutchinson is running and will hopefully best the sonofabitch in the Republican primary. While I would normally oppose such a objectionable use of a vote, I may vote in the Repub primary for Kay just to help knock Perry on his keister.

Second, and this is awesome, every major county in Texas went Democrat on Nov. 4, 2008 – Harris County (Houston), Dallas County (obviously, Dallas), Travis County (Austin), Duval County (San Antonio), and El Paso County (um…El Paso). Now, of course, the election of Obama drew many minorities to the polls that don’t normally turn out to vote. Still, the tides may be a-changing here in Texas and Republicans better take notice. Perry doesn’t want to take much of the stimulus money available to us and his policies are all capitulations to big business, like Bush. How surprising.

We’re tired of it. We’re over it. It’s time for a new chapter. We do, however, need strong, worthy left candidates to stand up and those are in short order because the oil and gas industry has such a stronghold on electoral results.

And if you think Perry is a scourge just us Willie-listeners have to deal with, he has national ambitions. He wasn’t going to run for governor again because he threw his lot in early with Giuliani before the ’08 election, bidding for a VP spot on the national ticket. Well, everyone saw Mayor 9/11 implode last year and Perry had to turn to the governor race in 2010 to stay relevant. Now, he’s making outrageous comments, like the secession crap, to assert himself nationally. If you can imagine, I’m not wishing him the best. In fact, if he loses in 2010 – especially in the primary – there’s a good chance his influence will evaporate and he’ll be just another nightmare in the past like his predecessor, Bush The Unequaled Disaster. I’m crossing my fingers.

All The Way With Kay!!! (for primary purposes only, that is)


Is Chris Dodd the New Britney Spears?

Remember a year ago when the news was all Britney Trainwreck all the time? It was anthropologically delicious watching the vag-flasher self-destruct one Red Bull at a time. And how glorious that we political junkies have our own disaster-seeking boobs hellbent on claiming their tragic turn at the gallows of public opinion.

Sure the vast majority of America couldn’t care less as Connecticut’s senior senator careens vehemently toward electoral self-destruction, but I giggle a little bit as each new day brings one more nail-in-the-coffin decision Christopher Dodd seems unable to avoid. Lest you think me walking the left-wing plank, shame on me that I might be tickled by events possibly resulting in the election of a Republican to the Senate, here’s the 411:

Doddsy ranks at the top of the 1998-2008 AIG campaign donation list (George W. Bush came in second). And, a few weeks ago, he tried to deny to CNN that his office had inserted language into the stimulus bill allowing for AIG exec bonus payment. The next day, he embarrassingly reversed his claims and came clean in a gut-twisting moment for most lefties, such as moi.

And NOW, now the idiot extraordinaire will bask in an April 7, $1,000-a-head fundraiser to be hosted by a hedge fund manager who made out like a bandit betting against the subprime housing market in 2007. At least Dodd people had the foresight to move the fundraiser from its original venue – an exclusive club under fire for having no minority members. What friggin’ geniuses. And I’m sure there will be plenty of minorities at the fundraiser. Maybe the rich AIG residents of Connecticut can give the minorities protesting outside their homes a ride to the bash.

As you can imagine, Dodd’s poll  numbers are in the crapper without a chance of seeing sunshine anytime soon. I mean NO chance. In this era of Obamalove, C.D. is coming in a cool 16 points behind a potential Republican contender. Ouch. What’s even more hysterical about this political Hindenburg is that New England has rebounded from Bush to such an extreme, that the last Republican House member from the region lost his reelection bid last November. Even in this climate, Dodd is headed for severe senatorial, exit-Stage-Left carpet burn.

Yes, of course I like to see more Dems in Congress than Repubs, but as I’ve said before, I think the vast majority of congresspeople on both sides of the aisle are big business whores. Can’t say it enough. Whores, whores, whores – the lot of ’em! Dodd is obviously no exception and if he has to serve as the sacrificial lamb for this “teachable moment,” so be it. The pied piper of judgment is calling and Dodd’s ain’t got no bank.

I hope his colleagues are watching. And one more thing, TERM LIMITS.

Scarlet Letter of Atheism


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