Ted Haggard’s latest coming out party was interesting to watch – not interesting enough to watch in its entirety, but I caught snippets. He recently did the media rounds to promote Alexandra Pelosi’s recent HBO Documentary of him, “The Trials of Ted Harrard.”
After catching snippets of Haggard and his wife on Larry King and Oprah, I decided to watch the film. This was also after a few people in my Free Thinker group of peeps said they saw the documentary and “felt sorry for him.” My husband and I were galled by such a notion, but I also though Mission Accomplished. That’s exactly what Ted was hoping the documentary would do – drum up sympathy. That and make him some money cause it looks like brother be broke.
- The man is clearly gay. I know the Christian community loves to say he would be suffering from “same sex attraction” which is so out of touch with reality, it makes me throw up a little in my mouth. He basically has a neon sign on his forehead, “HOMOSEXUAL,” and his life will continue to suck ass as long as he fights his true identity. But, hey – it’s a free country, so fight away Haggard; just try to do it off the boob tube, ya know?
- In one of the interviews, he discusses working with helpers to fix his gayness affliction and reveals that a friend of his father’s had a relationship of a sexual nature with him when he was 7, but he didn’t think it was abusive (it did cause him to wet the bed until middle school, however). He only realized it was abusive after these helpers told him it was.
- Now, let’s recap. The man is over 50, has been the spiritual leader of thousands upon thousands of people for two decades and doesn’t know right away that a sexual relationship with a child is abusive. Problem anyone? HUGE, huge problem. Does this mean that he has engaged in relationships of a sexual nature with children? He only recently discovered such activity was wrong… And what if church members came to him for counseling because of an occurrence of child molestation. This man was wholly unqualified to guide them or help them in any way and, in fact, may have taken advantage of the situation.
- This is one of those after school special moments where the viewer learns that the church is not the best place for counseling or psychotherapy of any kind. These people are not trained, licensed or professional. (That goes for “alleged” domestic abuser Chris Brown who said he was seeking counseling from his pastor. I hope it’s not the pastor in Georgia who beat the shit out of his wife, said the Devil made him do it and leads the church still today. Christ, religioners can be dumb)
- Haggard admitted the church was a business and noted that, now, he’s bad for business. Well, hallelujah, slap yo momma! Finally. Let’s acknowledge here that churches are for-profit institutions that make many, many of their leaders rich off the moneys many of their congregation cannot afford to give. These should be taxable institutions and not protected by an unconstitutional government endorsement of them through tax-free status.
- The church agreed to a settlement with Haggard as long as he left Colorado (for at least a year, but I don’t know how long in total). So instead of telling the church to go fuck themselves and that he was going to stay in his house for the sake of his kids, he drags them from place to place while he tries to find a job,which is difficult – apparently a 50 year-old pastor with no other experience isn’t qualified for many things in the “secular” world. It seems that if baby jesus was so benevolent and all-giving, he would have sent an angel to give Pastor Ted solid employment. For some reason, baby jesus didn’t. Weird.
In the meantime, the children he has still in their adolescence must go with the vagabond family from place to place with no stability while their father focuses on rectifying his “homosexual issues.” If it were me, I would have sold the house, told the church to suck it and put down roots somewhere else in Colorado or near family and focused on the kids. Of course, I’m not some crazy jesus freak. And where is the extended family in all this? Are there no siblings, no grandparents or aunts or uncles to help the same-sex afflicted douchebag, his Olympic in denial housewife and their offspring?
- While leader of his church, Haggard claimed Christians have the best sex lives and that he and his wife have sex every day – then looked to a couple of men standing near them and asked them the frequency of their sex lives. One man said every day and the other, not to be out-penised, said twice a day. On Oprah, his wife gushed how wonderful their sex life was. Are we spotting a theme? Perhaps a preoccupation with sex? Even if Haggard did have sex every day, the man is a performer and was probably trying to look like the best heterosexual husband he could in the best way he knew how. Boning his wife and boning her a lot. When will people learn that frequency is not an indication of sexual health? And, in fact, the bragging about it (and probably lying about it) ad nauseam is very indicative of a sexual or psychological problem.
- Do I feel sorry for Ted Haggard? hmmm. soul-searching…soul-searching…
- Short answer: No.
- Long answer: Hell-to-the-no, chaka khan! The man is a victim of his own creation. He founded that bloody church and grew it into a monstrosity until he could suckle at its teat and feel comfortable enough to have a drug habit and homosexual relationships on the side.(BTW, did his wife ever get tested for STDs? If your man – or woman – is messing around, for the love of pete, get tested!)
Christians are a famously intolerable group of people – remember the Inquisition? – and this is what happens when one of them faces adversity. If you make them look bad….EXILE! It’s not what jesus would do, but it’s what a Christian would do. All that love your neighbor and enemy shite is just a big load. Haggard created a monster and then was eaten by it. There are carbon copies all over the country, sad to say, and none of them will learn lessons from Haggard’s tale. Cause he’s an icky aberration that has no reflection on them. If you look in the faces of jesus’ followers, will you see him looking back? Does a bear shit in the woods? Wait a minute! I mean, does a bear shit in the city? Wait – forget it.