05
Nov
08

OBAMA WINS, BITCHES!!!

One word: hungover. I drank way too much champagne last night – way, way too much. The light from the screen is hurting my eyes… oowww. I might have to crack a beer open – hair of the dog, you know. In fact, what the hell?! Obama is President-Elect. I AM going to pop open a beer. Hang on.

Aahhhh, that’s better! And, no, I DO NOT have a drinking problem!

Obama is going to be freaking president!!

I would say I’m relieved now that the election is over, but I never really doubted he would win. Ever. Not because I wanted him to win, but because it has been his logistically for quite a while. McCain never presented a real challenge – even with the Palin bump. Obama didn’t just win because the economy tanked. He won because the pendulum has swung away from the rotted, soiled, simpleton remains of the Republican Party. He won because his campaign was damn-near perfect. Obama won because he was the right man at the right time. It was an inevitability.

Last night was electric – after Pennsylvania and then Ohio were lit blue, I said, “It’s over!” But the nervous many tried to shout down my certainty – don’t say that, baby jesus might jinx us! But, I’d had too much wine and my boisterous assertions could not be contained. Not even by baby jesus! Though the wind might blow and the tension be palpable, I cannot be stopped from shouting atop my sofa – Obama will win, goddammit, hallelujah, Obama will win!!!

And then, at 10:30 Central, the networks called if for our Main Man and my house was literally ringing with cries of inebriated jubilation – the time had come to pop the bubbly! Hell yeah, motherfuckers!!! Repubs – you can take your old, white, wrinkly, close-minded ass home. Stamp “Return to Sender” on the forehead of your retarded Alaskan mascot. Next stop: progress. Couldn’t steal this one, right-wing douches! This one belongs to us – I mean That One. And he more than doubled McCain’s electoral count. That’s what I call a bonafide, grade A, first class ASS-WHOOPIN’!

As you can tell, I’m still on my post-election high. No telling when I’m coming down, though seeing Bush’s face live on television this morning came as close to a cold shower as it gets for a person of my persuasion. Oh, what’s my persuasion? Winner. Yep, that’s what I am. A winner. A big, awesome winner. There’s a lot of us this morning and, if you’ve read most of this blog, you’re probably a big, big winner, too.

Asides:

What was surprising, however, was how close Texas was. The Obama numbers were much higher than I expected and with the racists and close-mindeds getting old and dying off, I have a real, solid hope that Texas could turn blue in the near future. No, that’s not the beer talking.

And a big, major, huge SHAME ON YOU to the voters in Florida and California who voted to pass the gay marriage ban. You prejudice, discriminatory, close-minded dickwads are all going to hell. And good riddance. I hope your genitals fall off and you are plagued with herpes of the esophogus. And I mean that with all the Christian love a non-Christian can give.

And dammit if Michelle Bachmann didn’t win. Now we have to put up with that crazy whore putting her ugly mug in front of all the cameras she can find for a couple more years. I’m warning all television outlets now that if I see her being interviewed, I will turn the channel. However far I have to reach for the remote – even if I have to get out of my chair – I will tune into alternative programming. And you can take that to the bank, yo.

I’m sad, relieved, happy, disappointed it’s over. What will I blog about next?

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3 Responses to “OBAMA WINS, BITCHES!!!”


  1. 1 Providence
    November 5, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Yes, Texas did much better than expected. Oklahoma – well …….

  2. November 5, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    I can’t wait til Obama buys the girls a new puppy (hope he adopts or I’ll be writing an angry blog post), can’t wait til he decides on his cabinet members and get America on the right path.

  3. November 6, 2008 at 12:18 am

    Harris County – home of my hometown of Houston voted for Obama. I must say I was surprised because my last visit down that way in September revealed ubiquitous assaults of McCain/Palin bumper stickers. But, I was so proud to see HC blue – undoubtedly an indicator of increased voter participation among African Americans and Hispanics. I hope the trend continues!

    Sensico – funny point about the dog adoption, i’d never considered it, but i’m sure my beloved lab-mix Eddy has been thinking it this whole time. He’ll have to be rewarded with a visit to the puppy park tomorrow.

    and now that the longhorns are no longer number one in college football, all the cabinet member predictions will help distract me from the BCS ratings. we need to start a campaign, though: just say no to larry summers!!


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