30
Oct
08

Republicans Quick to Predict Victory

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed the polarized predictions of elections results coming from the Republicans and Democrats?

In case you haven’t had a chance to watch and read endless amounts of commentary and analysis the way my ass (which really needs to work out) has, I’ll give you the condensed version:

Republicans: The polls are narrowing, we’re catching up and we’re gonna win it Tuesday, by golly, goshdarnit, suckJoecock.

Democrats: Don’t you turkeys take anything for granted. You get your ass to the poll or we’ll all be calling the crazy-ass old white man massah up in this bitch for four more years.

Yes, yes, yes, democrats are loathe to embrace hope after claiming the popular vote – but losing the White House – in 2000 and losing by a hair-thin margin in 2004.

But isn’t it telling that Republicans across the information waves are quick to paint a rosy picture of their chances on Nov. 4? Just look at the Bill O’Reilly’s interpretation of the electoral college map (posted on DailyKos):

Are you fucking kiddime me?! He has Michigan and Wisconsin and Iowa and Oregon and New Mexico as tossups!! Do you remember what I said in my last blog about the crack-smoking at FOX News HQ? I forgot to mention the opiate chaser.

Democrats will say we have a good shot, our chances are good, it’ll be really hard for John McCain to win or the second coming of Jesus Christ himself is more likely than the Republicans keeping the White House. But no one says “we’re going to win it” – “win” being the jinxable word. Psst, helloooooo, as long as we don’t say “win”, maybe we’ll win.

And the Repubs, whose candidate has more superstitions than the gray-haireds at the BINGO parlor, are saying “they’ll win” more than than they say “Obama is a socialist” and way more than they pay for sex.

What will be telling – and I wish we had a poll for this – is how many bottles of champagne are bought by Republicans or Democrats before their election-night party. That will truly illustrate just who the confident party is. I’m thinking at least 4 for mine. At least. Maybe 5. Or, like, 15. And cigars.

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1 Response to “Republicans Quick to Predict Victory”


  1. November 1, 2008 at 10:09 am

    Yeah, are they trying to prep america for a swindle?

    and they list MINNESOTA as a toss-up? MINNESOTA? we were the only state to vote for Mondale, for shits sake! no way- MN is very heavily (heavily) going to be BLUE.


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