Since my first Top Ten Anti-McCain Slogans has received so many views, as has my Anti-McCain Funnies, I’ve decided to add ten more slogan-things (they might be a little too long for slogans) plus 1 and will try to continue to do so until the election. Enjoy and laugh cause this whole election is getting my blood pressure way too high. At this point, there ain’t enough alcohol in the hemisphere to put me in the mood to party like it’s 1999.
BONUS: Is it just me or is John McCain channeling Jack Nicholson in a few good men, “You can’t handle the truth!…My existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives… I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it.” Jeez, that is so 1992.
10. McCain: With all due respect, when I was a POW, I couldn’t debate. My captors didn’t allow rebuttal periods. Also, POW, POW, POW. And POW.
9. Baby jesus, all I want for Christmas is for John McCain not to be president. If you make someone – anyone – else president, I swear to god I will not watch any soft porn on skinemax for, like, the whole rest of the year. Or a whole month or something like that.
8. If Obama were white, he’d be 15 points ahead, you fecking feckers.
7. McCain: The fundamentals of the economy are strong. And by “fundamentals” I mean “robber barons.” Yeah. I’m bringing that phrase back.
6. Sarah what? I can’t hear you over the po-po kicking me out of my house.
5. Watching Obama’s daily increase of gray hair is more interesting than watching McCain read from a teleprompter. “blah…blah..boring shit…blah.” SHUT UP!! You’re killing me slowly……ack.
3. Religious Right: Hey – once they’re out of the womb, fuck ’em!
2. Obama: I wasn’t a member of the Keating 5; I haven’t had aggressive cancer 4 times and refuse to release my health records; I didn’t choose a candy striper as my running mate; And I DON’T have a comb-over. What more do you people need?!
1. McCain: If this campaign suspension stunt doesn’t work, I’m hiring that OxyClean guy.