Chuck Norris Chops Into Self-Help Author

Now, here’s one good for a laugh. Let me preface by saying I didn’t know Chuck Norris was literate. I mean, I knew he could karate chop some shit, but read? That’s a surprise. NOW, I find out not only can he read, but he can write. Or at least he has an assistant who can write. In any case, he submitted this article to Townhall.com, criticizing Oprah Winfrey’s endorsement of Eckhart Tolle’s book “A New Earth.”

In the article, Chuck laments a gathering with people being held by Oprah and Tolle at the same time as Easter and says “it is more evidence of the paradigm shift in our culture from its moral absolute and Judeo-Christian basis to a relativistic worldview, in which anything goes and everything is tolerated.”

Like most self-help spiritual texts of this type, it is a blend of half-truths and half-fabrications. One easily could save the purchase price of ‘A New Earth’ — and subsequently avoid its misleading remarks — by reading the Bible, which gives a much more thorough and accurate picture of life’s purpose and the methods for overcoming its obstacles.”

Yeah – because there are NO fabrications in The Bible.

My battle is not with Oprah; she has her guru (Tolle), and I have mine (Jesus). The real war is between those who assert to be bearers of the truth, such as Tolle and Jesus. And the question is: With contradicting truths, will we believe a mere man or one who claimed to be so much more?” He then goes on to quote C.S. Lewis, one of the only atheists in history to head over to Christianity and, therefore, sort of a folk hero to many of the Jesus followers.

I must say, I do share Norris’ skepticism of self-help books as they require the same credentials as a religious leader – nil. And the certainty they express in their ideas relegates them to the “suspicious” file.

Nevertheless, it’s laughable that Chuckie thinks our culture ever had a moral absolute or that that absolute could be found in a text such as the bible. Are there meaner characters in literature than the god of Abraham? Not bloody likely! I’d never want to be like him. If anyone should be smited or smit or whatever, it’s these religious blindmen who want to assert their beliefs as TRUTH and cage the rest of us with their ignorance.

FYI, if GOD were a god of love, he wouldn’t have sent his only son (and no one would have actually believed Mary was a virgin in those days) to be tortured to “save” everyone while the majority of humankind goes to spend eternity in hellfire. Can we say fable?

What do you think of that, Chuckie? I’ll have a beer for you and your celebrated intolerance. And when I die and I don’t go to hell, I’ll think of you then too. You and Huckachuck really deserve each other, don’t you?


4 Responses to “Chuck Norris Chops Into Self-Help Author”

  1. 1 Sista Mer
    March 4, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

  2. 2 Paige
    March 4, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    I like how Chuckie has the Jewish folks of America celebrating Easter… And ya know how “they” would like to teach Bible stories in public schools? Well, it was reading/explicating the book of Job in AP English that sent me over to the dark side in the first place. What kind of god is THAT to have to prove something by torturing one of his most devoted followers? Did he wipe Job’s memory too? And yeah, I’m not so fond of this cultural moral absolutist tendency that we have toward retaliating against anyone who doesn’t buy our “city on a hill” status (Reference to Puritans, who liked to whip folks and then, if that didn’t work, hang them on Boston Commons). Where’s the love?

    I have heard that Jesus was misquoted in the New Testament. That he starts off way egalitarian and communist and then, fearing backlash, the writers of the books cave and go more socially conservative. Haven’t explored this possibility yet, though.

  3. 3 Ross Moore
    March 5, 2008 at 8:21 am

    I guess Chuck’s been writing for over a year. I went and checked out his archives and was amazed of the content and reasonsing ability. Awesome! You can check out his others articles at http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/archives.asp?AUTHOR_ID=274

  4. March 15, 2008 at 8:46 am

    Chuck Norris not literate??? What are you talking about. More Chuck Norris jokes:http://chucknorrisjokesblog.blogspot.com

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