03
Mar
08

TX PrimaCaucus B.S. And Exit Polls

I thought I’d mention that I’m not participating in tomorrow night’s caucus – which you can only attend if you vote in the primary earlier in the day. I’m only voting once because that’s what makes sense. Retarded, strategically twisted ways to get people elected need to go the way of good anchors on CNN (Paula Zahn, Aaron Brown). Now, the fact that the UT Men’s BB team plays Nebraska tomorrow at 6:30 has NOTHING to do with the fact that I’ll be home instead of standing in a corner looking pretty and representing Obama – I swear. Maybe I should write a letter to the Secretary of the State of Texas. His people usually get back to me pretty quickly.

If I were in charge of primary elections, which I should be, I’d make it easy and sensible:

  • Every state has a primary. Not a caucus. And certainly not both.
  • Primaries start in March and go through May. Conventions are in late July or early August.
  • The Primary calender rotates among the states, with different states voting first each year there is a presidential election.
  • All primaries are open to all voters, though voters can only vote once. Independents can vote in Republican or Democratic primaries. Republicans can vote in Democratic primaries and vice versa.
  • You have to know a code phrase to vote in the primary. Like “pant suit” or “lima bean”.
  • David Gergen gets rid of his abominable comb-over. Love his analysis. Hate his hair (can someone give him a mirror so he can see the BACK of his head?)

That makes sense, right? Also, I don’t know anyone who will vote in a caucus tomorrow night. I don’t know anyone who ever has. If they had kegs on ice and you had to do a keg stand in order vote, than hellsyeah I would go – fair political process or not! I bet I’d beat all those old asses! (Despite not having done a keg stand in more years than fingers on one hand..but I’d get it back, I just know it)

Can I also say I have never, never been asked to participate in an exit poll and have never even seen an exit poller? I’ve seen firemen, candidates, old people, smokers, all kinds outside my polling stations, but never have I seen an exit poller. What’s up with that? That’s all I hear about on election night – exit poll this, exit poll that. Yet, nary an exit poller has been in my sights and I’ve looked for them! I love participating in surveys and say yes every time Gallup calls. I think this whole exit poll thing is a sham and a conspiracy and, frankly, I’m not going to take it anymore!

God, I just saw that 3 a.m. phone call ad of Hillary’s again. Has anyone noticed that the mom on that add totally has mom jeans on up to her belly-button and is wearing a braided belt? How old is that ad footage? The kids asleep in their beds are probably going through puberty in real life. And can someone, anyone tell Mark Penn to quit writing ads – he stinks. Fear-mongering is so yesterday (like the braided belt). Does that red phone with nothing but a blinking light really exist or do we just believe it does because Batman had one? I’d like to know!

Update: I voted today and did I see an exit poller or answer any exit poll questions? NO!! And I looked for them, but all I saw were some Republicans.

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3 Responses to “TX PrimaCaucus B.S. And Exit Polls”


  1. 1 Paige
    March 4, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    Way funny at the polls today. Generally Repubs vote at one of the schools and Dems at the other (the middle and elem. schools are next to each other). So when a Ron Paul supporter was doing his cheerleader best to get me to vote for him, I just blurted out,”Shouldn’t you be over there?” Turns out I guess we have a lot of Repubs over here. Oh well totally gave my game away. Anyway, all the folks were soooo excited that we are important enough to have a caucus that counts, they didn’t know what to do – I mean that literally. It’s been a long time here in TX and they weren’t quite sure how to set things up. BUT, if you HAD gone to the caucus, you might have been chosen to go to

  2. 2 Paige
    March 4, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    Ok don’t know how that happened..Sorry!
    You could have been chosen to go to Austin and partay with all the other dem delegates. There might be something to this caucus thing for you after all.


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