19
Feb
08

My Moment in the Sun has Arrived

I’ve been selected for jury duty!! At the ripe old age of 30, I have finally received the summons for which I’ve waited ever since turning 18. To see the legal process up close could very well result in my disappointment – but I pay no mind! My time has come at last. Fort Worth, I embrace this civic duty with all the gusto of a former Court TV addict!

Qualifications:

  1. Citizen of the U.S. and FTW, with voting qualification? Check.
  2. Of sound mind and good moral character? Questionable.
  3. Able to read and write? Marginally.
  4. Have not served as a juror for six days during the preceding six months? Check.
  5. Have not been convicted of misdemeanor theft or felony? Last I knew…
  6. Are not under indictment or other legal accusations of theft or felony? Jeez, I hope not! Remind myself to Google my name later.

Dress Code: NO HATS, SHIRTS MUST BE TUCKED IN, NO SHORTS & NO FLIP-FLOPS. What is this? North Korea?? They’re damned lucky it’s February because if this were this were a more pleasant weather season, I would be pissed about the flip-flops thing. And what? Just cause we prefer not to tuck our shirts, we’re hooligans and improper administers of justice?! Abominable policy, I say!

Nevertheless, I shall go. Disagreement with the dress code isn’t listed under exemptions. Hopefully, I’ll be picked as head juror for some dramatic case where they sequester you and later write a movie about the whole thing. My mom says I need to play it low-key if I want to be picked. Maybe I’ll wear beige, that’s a low-key color. Damn, I don’t think I own any beige clothes… but there’s time to go to the mall! Calm down! I gotta play it cool… A Time to Kill, here we come!

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