I’ve been selected for jury duty!! At the ripe old age of 30, I have finally received the summons for which I’ve waited ever since turning 18. To see the legal process up close could very well result in my disappointment – but I pay no mind! My time has come at last. Fort Worth, I embrace this civic duty with all the gusto of a former Court TV addict!
- Citizen of the U.S. and FTW, with voting qualification? Check.
- Of sound mind and good moral character? Questionable.
- Able to read and write? Marginally.
- Have not served as a juror for six days during the preceding six months? Check.
- Have not been convicted of misdemeanor theft or felony? Last I knew…
- Are not under indictment or other legal accusations of theft or felony? Jeez, I hope not! Remind myself to Google my name later.
Dress Code: NO HATS, SHIRTS MUST BE TUCKED IN, NO SHORTS & NO FLIP-FLOPS. What is this? North Korea?? They’re damned lucky it’s February because if this were this were a more pleasant weather season, I would be pissed about the flip-flops thing. And what? Just cause we prefer not to tuck our shirts, we’re hooligans and improper administers of justice?! Abominable policy, I say!
Nevertheless, I shall go. Disagreement with the dress code isn’t listed under exemptions. Hopefully, I’ll be picked as head juror for some dramatic case where they sequester you and later write a movie about the whole thing. My mom says I need to play it low-key if I want to be picked. Maybe I’ll wear beige, that’s a low-key color. Damn, I don’t think I own any beige clothes… but there’s time to go to the mall! Calm down! I gotta play it cool… A Time to Kill, here we come!