It’s Happening! My Starbucks is Closing!

Actually, 3 of my Starbucks are closing. I never thought this would happen to me - ME!! Sure, 600 Starbucks stores are closing, but I felt a certain satisfaction knowing their world domination would be checked.

Don’t get me wrong, of many of the strong corporate cultures out there, I have felt Starbucks led in the ethics department. Subsidizing college tuition, health benefits, not supporting the war in Iraq (please do not confuse this with not supporting the troops; this idea was suffered by many of the peeps I met while suffering the unfortunate fate of living in Oklahama for a year and half).

While visiting London in 2000, however, I first understood the expansion intentions of Slutbucks (I LOVE this new nickname some religious yahoo gave the coffee shop because of their naked mermaid symbol. Apparently, the Christian genius thought her tail was actually her legs splayed. He’s now a poster-boy for the need for college education, if you get my drift). I had not seen a Starbucks in an international setting during my junior year abroad (Strasbourg, represent!) and I spotted the coffee behemoth on a street corner directly across from a lovely mom and pop café that had begun closing procedures. Sniff.

My body doesn’t like a lot of coffee. I haven’t figured out if it’s the acid levels or what, but I’ve always been able to drink Starbucks (especially their Breakfast Blend freshly ground) without too much trouble. So, I’ve developed quite an entrenched loyalty to Starbucks.

When I read that 600 Starbucks were closing, truthfully, I thought nothing of it. Really, we hardly ever actually go to Starbucks. It’s the psychological comfort of knowing my warm, caffeine injection was right around the corner awaiting a dog-on-the-leash, husband-at-my-side stroll.

No longer.

The only thing that could repair the damage to my American-consumer-convenience state of mind is if a walk-up tamale/taco/queso place opens in the stead of Starbucks. There’s already a dive-bar, liquor store, old-school burger joint, donut/jalapeno-pig-in-a-blanket shop, and Walgreens within walking distance of my home. If I can’t have my coffee, give me my tamales. Baby jesus, can you hear me? I swear I won’t play BINGO for a whole month if you let me have my tamales. And when I have children, I won’t give them sleeping pills and just spend the whole day at the BINGO parlor. Probably. Maybe.

Have a great weekend, everybody! And if you can get Sessions beer in your neck of the woods, buy it. Cause it’s some gorgeous stuff served from a stubby, brewed by Full Sail out of Hood River, Oregon.

You can click on this link on The Huffpo if you want to see if a Starbucks near you is closing.

Review: Maxed Out

Are documentaries getting better or is it just me? At least, they’re getting more interesting. Last night, I watched Maxed Out: Hard Times, Easy Credit and the Era of Predatory Lending (2006) and must offer my highest recommendations to those considering adding to their rental “queue.”

While this documentary is certainly a biased vehicle through which writer, director, producer James Duncan Scurlock expresses his opinions on the unethical credit industry and the government’s collusion, it nevertheless provides an eye-opening paradigm behind the every-man’s everyday experience with credit card companies. If you think you have it bad, watch this documentary - for real - and you’ll feel like you’re living large and in charge. And happiness is all in the mind, which is why the Danish are on top of the world.

It’s easy to take away from Maxed Out the the significance of the lack of regulation of the unethical credit industry by the government. It’s so cute when the Republicans and Libertarians parade their free market ideals and forget that the human element prevents these theories from successfully materializing, despite all the good intentions and numerical data. And they want to open the health care industry in the same manner - unregulated, free market doctors, medicine, scalpels. Yeah, that will work out real well! Lack of regulation has proven so effective in the housing industry, which has resulted in mass foreclosures and helped initiate a recession, and global trade, which provides us Americans cheap consumer goods by taking advantage of poor working conditions outside of our borders. Don’t ask don’t tell and the like.

What we need is a combination of economics and anthropology. The human element - which differs from culture to culture - inhibits capitalism, socialism or communism in their pure forms. China has had to mix capitalism with their brand of communism. The U.S. will never fully achieve a free market system that does not victimize the lowest common denominator. Until economists and legislators alike realize this fundamental reality and Americans stop falling for the right-wing line that all their taxes and all the government regulation only benefit the undeserving over the hard worker, we’re going to have these economic meltdowns - most especially when a Republican Congress rubberstamps a Republican White House.

But I digress as I often do.

Maxed Out hit home for me especially as I am a poster-child for financial misunderstanding and irresponsibility. To put it mildly, I bit off more than I could chew when I was in college and partied like a rock star in my early twenties. And while it can take a week to ruin your credit, it can take a lifetime to repair it. The cards are stacked against you and the system is designed to squeeze every penny from your cold, dead hands. It’s grotesque.

As a wise, old 30-something (does 30 count as 30-something?), I have seen the light and rectified my ways. What I have taken from my experience, however, is the belief in the necessity of financial training for children - especially teens. We have typing class, calculus, electives, foreign languages and yet the very basics of money-management is exempt from regular school curricula. I’m very happy to have learned about STD’s and what PCP does to the human and mice brains. But the development of my adulthood would have been greatly improved had the Texas School Board of Education seen fit at some point to include information on CHECKING ACCOUNTS, OVERDRAFT FEES, FICO SCORES, etc., etc., etc…

Few other skills in life rank above that of money management and merely having a weekly allowance doesn’t cut it. I have no idea why there are not parents at every PTO meeting calling for the inclusion of such education. We are left to our own devices and my devices were fairly shitty. I’m improving bit by bit (my stepdad gives me a subscription to Money Magazine), but you know it’s a long, hard slog and watching college loan payments the size of luxury car payments head into the wind every month still stings.

Quality of life is determined by the quality of our decisions and the quality of our decisions is largely dependent on the quality of our training and education. I knew nothing of finance when I entered my twenties, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let avoidable circumstances dictate the outcome of my financial existence.

So, be smart, get learned and watch Maxed Out. Cause that shit is crazy.

Anti-Intellectualism Half a Century Ago

History repeats itself - an oft-repeated proverb warning us that the the lessons of the past are once again the sins of today. Certainly, I found myself mentally saying a church-worthy Amen! to this proverb as I began reading the Pulitzer Prize-winning Anti-Intellectualism in American Life by Richard Hofstadter, published in 1962, 1963.

Let me just say that if this weren’t a library book, I’d be highlighting the hell out of it. Instead, I’m reduced to tearing post-it after post-it to mark all the points of interest. And I haven’t started Chapter 2. My consumption of this work is a result of research I’m conducting for my own respective book, but Hofstadter’s observations have already shocked me into open-mouth disbelief as his descriptions of the anti-intellectualism of the 1950’s readily apply to today’s culture clash between the learned and the petrified. The author does assert that anti-intellectualism suffers cyclical fluctuations and will never fully abate to the netherworlds of silly history, with other theories such as “the sun revolves around the Earth” and “the 2008 election will be between Giuliani and Hillary” (yeah, that was my own Nostradamus endeavors into electoral predictions).

So, please forgive the length of this blog as I indulge myself by providing a few (a bunch?) unusually relevant excerpts from Chapter 1, with my intensely insightful commentary to follow.

…the launching of Sputnik by the Soviets precipitated one of those periodic surges of self-conscious national reappraisal to which the American public is prone. The Sputnik was more than a shock to American national vanity: it brought an immense amount of attention to bear on the consequences of anti-intellectualism in the school sysytem and in American life at large. Suddenly, the national distaste for intellect appeared to be not just a disgrace but a hazard to survival. Pg 4-5.

Perhaps I’m overreaching in my cocoon of progressive political theory, but I view global warming and the rise in fuel prices as the space race of our day. Before you emit a Moe-esqe, “Whaaaa?”, allow me to explain. While there are untold quantities of hydrocarbon beneath the surface of the Earth in not only the U.S., but also Iran, Russia, the South China Sea and other areas, global energy demands - especially of India and China - are helping fuel the rise petrol prices and will continue to do so.

The U.S. must focus on a transcendent energy policy today in the same manner we did with the space race in the ’60’s. Scientific ambitions aiming at a forward-thinking fuel-efficiency and alternative-energy development will help the U.S. maintain a technological and, thus, economic advantage in global markets. If we can me be a maverick in this area, we just might hold on to our hegemony a bit longer - though that need not be the main goal. We need to ride the wave of motivation high gas prices are providing toward cleaner energy and end our reign as Pollution Bastards of the World (especially as China will pick up the slack and more).

The labels of Intellectuals and Anti-Intellectuals were thrown around in the 1950’s in much the same way Liberal and Conservative are today. They were used as bad words by those who hurled them against their opponents and worn as badges of honor by those they described. Obviously, Hofstadter was an intellectual and the examples of anti-intellectual rhetoric he presents are laughable in this day and age - hopefully in the same manner Creationism and Intelligent Design will be laughable in another half century. If you haven’t chuckled today, allow me to send some historical fodder from Anti-Intellectualim your way that will surely entertain:

Novelist “of the right-wing persuasion,” Louis Broomfield, pg 9:

Egghead (euphemism for intellectual): A person of spurious intellectual pretensions…Fundamentally superficial. Over emotional and feminine in reactions to any problem. Supercilious and surfeited with conceit and contempt for the experience of more sound and able men. Essentially confused in thought and immersed in mixture of sentimentality and violent evangelism…

President Eisenhower’s definition of an intellectual, pg. 10:

…a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

The disdain for intellectualism opened education and the education system itself up for the attacks from the more conservative commentators of the day as well.

Billy Graham, pg 15:

You can stick a public school and a university in the middle of every block of every city in America and you will never keep America from rotting morally by mere intellectual education.

[In place of the Bible] we substituted reason, rationalism, mind culture, science worship, the working power of government, Freudianism, humanism, behaviorism, positivism, materialism, and idealism. [This work of ] so-called intellectuals. Thousands of these ‘intellectuals’ have publicly stated that morality is relative–that there is no norm or absolute standard…

Arthur Bestor, junior-high school principal in Illinois, pg. 17:

When we come to the realization that not every child has to read, figure, write and spell . . . that many of them either cannot or will not master these chores . . . then we shall be on the road to improving the junior high curriculum.

(This is the best part) Between this day and that a lot of selling must take place. But it’s coming. We shall some day accept the thought that it is just as illogical to assume that every boy must be able to read as it is that each one must be able to perform on a violin, that it is no more reasonable to require that each girl shall spell well than it is that each one shall bake a good cherry pie.

I’ve never made a cherry pie, but I can make a mean cherry cobbler. Does that count?

Jack Schwartzman, of the Freeman, pg. 13:

Our universities are the training grounds for the barbarians of the future, those who, in the guise of learning , shall come forth loaded with pitchforks of ignorance and cynicism, and stab and destroy the remnants of human civilization…

If you send your son to the college of today, you will create the Executioner of tomorrow. The rebirth of idealism must come from the scattered monasteries of non-collegiate thought.

Does it get any better than that?! This quotation thoroughly tickles my funny bone because I have a close family member, who recently turned 70, who continually blames my political viewpoints on the fact that I attended “one of those liberal universities.” I had no idea the University of Texas was a cesspool of left-wing larva ready infiltrate governmental policy-making (don’t tell the frat boys!). In fact, he repeats that these “liberal colleges” are why young people tack liberal and why this world is going to hell in a handbag. I continually try to remind him that I retained nothing from college classes. Especially French.

And perhaps to close, this final quotation from Hofstadter himself that proves yet another proverb: the more things change, the more they stay the same. Pg 12 - and keep in mind, he wrote this in 1962:

Far more acute and sweeping was the hostility to intellectuals expressed on the far-right wing, a categorical folkish dislike of the educated classes and of anything respectable, established, pedigreed, or cultivated. The right-wing crusade of the 1950’s was full of heated rhetoric about ‘Harvard professors, twisted-thinking intellectuals . . . in the State Department.’

Am I the only one who feels like they’re in the Twilight Zone? George Bush thinks the jury is still out on global warming AND evolution. Hillary Clinton somehow warped into the working man’s candidate (talk about shape-shifting) and decried “experts” who opposed her gas tax holiday. Schools across the country are peppered with teachers who want to assert Intelligent Design as a scientific principle when it’s the absolute antithesis to the definition of science itself.

When will these perverted objectors realize that science, math, literature - EDUCATION - is what provided them their military weaponry, their computers, their energy capabilities, every day conveniences, “free market” dreams, and overall U.S. success and domination. It is a shame that people have to suffer when factories close and the jobs that require less education go overseas. As it is natural for species to go extinct in biological evolution and so is the case with jobs during economic evolution. Would the laid-off factor worker rather keep his job, yet amputate the very tools with which the U.S. retains its global position and military domination? Well, that would be unpatriotic.

Anti-Intellectualism is an embarrassment that has enjoyed many a decade hindering the development of humanity. For some inexplicable reason, Americans tend to wallow in more than their fair share. I suppose fear of change and development is at the heart of the matter, though it is hard for me to reconcile the “Great American Dream” with this entrenched detestation of progress and reason.

I do, however, think we’ve come a long way since Hofstadter penned his academic opinions. College education is ever more the norm and I’m sure 50 years from now we’ll laugh at the crazy old people who didn’t want the gays to marry and thought someone having a college education was a clear indication of an elitist in their midst. And I appreciated a sentiment by James Carville (who has stoked some of my ire during the current primary season) who said on AC 360 the other evening, “Competence is patriotic.” Well, halle-freaking-lujah.

I can tell I’m really going to enjoy the rest of this book. In the meantime, let’s get-to on those alternative energy sources!!

Holy Shit - and I’m back

I just returned from a week-long jaunt to Vegas, newly married and found this on my television screen:

This is the “Teen Princess Dress” from the FLDS Dress website. That’s right. They’re selling their freaky 19th-century cult garb. Wow.

I mean, part of me wants to buy one. I already have an Islamic chador my friend got me from a market in the UAE and a beautifully embroidered Indian wedding sari I used as window drapery. I suppose I could start a collection of religious garb, but that would be creepy. Still, the idea of wearing one of these FLDS dresses for Halloween is almost irresistible. However, no dreams of once again taking first prize in the costume contest will convince me to place an order (last year, I took home the gold by dressing up as Chris Farley in the Lunch-Lady SNL sketch. I rocked it hard).

First of all, the smallest size they have is 8A. Now, I have no idea how freaky-cult 8A compares to the Real World size 8. Secondly, size 8A runs a cool $72.53. I don’t think if there is a god that it would want anyone to spend that kind of dough just to look chaste. Not with these gas prices. I mean, buy a sheet, cut a hole in the middle for your head and put a belt around it, for chrissakes.

Lastly, and most obvious, I take voting with the dollar seriously and will not support an intolerant, closed cult that practices sexual abuse and tax evasion (among many other crimes, I’m sure), refuses to educate the female members properly, is secretive and follows the late psychopath Joseph Smith. Not for any Halloween prize even if it’s really, really awesome.

I Am Not An Astrophysicist, But I Play One Online

In response to the piece by ABC news that 16 percent of American science teachers believe in Creationism, I posted this comment on The Huffington Post:

ME:

Creationism is in direct opposition of the Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy and is not founded scientifically, therefore should not be taught in science class.

Good source: Atheist Universe by David Mills

Shame on the rise of anti-intellectualism in America. As we allow these attacks on science, the U.S. will suffer economically, technologically, culturally and globally. It’s these conservative christian isolationists that are dooming America and causing America’s loss of hegemony that the isolationists so fervently believe in.

My comments led to the following debate:

Myshkin57: Eh… conservation of mass is not a good reason to reject it. A good reason to reject it is that there is no reason to accept it. Further, the problem with creationism being taught as science is not its inconsistency with other scientific theory; most scientific theories were inconsistent with the scientific theories at the time they were first proposed. The problem is that it is not science (i.e. not testable, falsifiable, verifiable, etc.)

Delvin McGee: by that notion so does the Big Bang Theory

TMAN: Except that those laws or better yet, the particular laws of the Universe we inhabit were a product of the particular vacumn fluctuation as part and parcel of the Big Bang. Should another fluctuation occur within our Universe the Laws of Physics we observe now would be gone as would we.

Many of the most important elements of the Big Bang are “theory” in name only and have been supported, verified by rigorous scientific research, experimentation and testing.

ME: Big Bang does not defy the Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy:
Currently, all matter in the universe is expanding and will continue to do so until it exceeds critical density, at which point gravitational forces will cause the universe to collapse on itself, called the Big Crunch (you can wiki it). As all matter returns to a single contiguous point, the theory suggests that our universe of mass energy will explode in yet another Big Bang.

Therefore, mass-energy was not created. It has always existed and has most likely always been expanding and contracting.

TMAN: The increased rate of expansion has nothing to do with the Universe “exceeding critical density”. In fact the exact opposite is proposed as one “hypothosis” where matter/energy continues to expand and cool thus dissipating, for “eternity” “the BIG FREEZE”

Visable Mass-energy and the laws pertaining to them (they are the same) are a product of this Universe only, initial conditions sets the “laws”

You are aware that the expansion of the Universe also includes (though not often mentioned) the creation of the “new” space it is expanding into, as it expands, arent you?

ME: ah, excellent debate.

let me proffer that as the universe expands, space stretches - which contradicts the idea that new space is created.

TMAN: “let me proffer that as the universe expands, space stretches”

-Into what?

When I used the term “space” into which the Universe expands, I mis-used the word. My bad. Outside the “boundry limit ” of the Universe is nothing. The Universe (which contains within itself all of “space” and time, expands into that nothing that the Universe has expanded its boundry limit to. This is next to impossible to visualize or comprehend but mathmatically thats what is said to be happening as we speak.

ME: i see what you are saying, but what about the multi-universe hypothesis?

outside our universe is simply another universe, perhaps contracting, and that our universe is not simply expanding into nothing. the number of universes could be indeterminate.

So far, I have yet to receive another response from TMAN. Seeing as how I pulled most of what I asserted out of my ass (aside from the information I picked up from David Mills), I’m curious if anyone out there has any thoughts or corrections or suggestions.

UPDATE: TMAN finally answered my last response: Yes, thats possible or even the latest rage, “vibrating, interacting Branes”. At that point it’s a little over my head.

But, it’s magnificent isn’t it? And the thing is, it appears that it’s set up to give us exactly what we ask for. So it’s imperative that we learn and understand all that we can then take responsibility for our actions within the known and understood Universe. One doesn’t need fables if one is intellectually and physically engaged with it.
Thanks, TXpastafarian, for the dialogue.

To which I answered: I agree. It’s the discussion and quest for knowledge that matters. Anytime!

Reflective System vs. Automatic System

In the short time I’ve been plunged into adulthood (not maturity, mind you), I have observed with endless curiosity the different consciences with which my peers traverse the days and weeks that bring us ever closer to death. It seems as if some of us are more existential, pondering happiness and the meaning of life and various philosophies. We psychoanalyze our past and present, decision-making and those of our friends, acquaintances and family. We are constantly thinking and considering and struggling to find our most productive and positive place in the universe. It can be tiring and half the time I feel like a dog chasing its own tail.

Others are bit more shallow. And I’m not saying that as an insult; it’s simply the best descriptive adjective for the coasting along the status quo I’ve noticed in the lives of many of my peers. Many people simply find a job, get married, and have kids without ever a thought given to trailblazing or creating a masterpiece with this life they’ve been given. They do not question that with which they were raised: religion, fried foods, political parties.  Many do not move away from home or go to college or vote or ever engage in deep thought and discussion and debate.

I do not think I’m better than these people - merely different. It is just so interesting that some of us mentally and spiritually exist always questioning and analyzing and seeking. Others are content as is. It’s CRAZY, people!

And, what’s every crazier, is the Freakonomics blog interviewing Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein, authors of Nudge, Improving Decisions on Health, Wealth, and Happiness. My jaw nearly dropped when I read this question and answer section:

“Q: You write that human brains function either on their more deliberate and self-conscious Reflective System or their intuitive, rapid Automatic System (Homer Simpson), and that voters seem to primarily rely on the latter. (So much so that it’s possible to predict the outcome of elections by testing automatic responses.) Can you make any predictions about the presidential election based on which candidate has more “automatic appeal?”

A: We are betting on the guy from Illinois — the one who used to teach at the University of Chicago Law School. Admittedly, we might be biased, but we have seen first hand the way people immediately relate to him, and that should help.

Also, it is important not to push this evidence too far. Although initial impressions are important, certainly many voters do use their reflective systems to consider each of the candidates with care. We think the country is lucky to have three smart candidates who can give voters plenty to think about.”

Perhaps I’m reading into this text way too much or focusing on some obscure point, but I just feel so relieved that others have noticed the difference in people’s cognitive behavior and have even given it a term: Reflective System vs. Automatic System. I just wish I knew why some choose to reflection while others simply function without much ado.

Perhaps I’m being too reflective about Reflective System. More times than I’d like, I find myself wishing for a more Automatic life - but then would this existence be as flavorful? Would it matter at all? Would chocolate still taste as good?

No wonder I drink so much.

Just Finished My 2007 Taxes!! Woohooo!

I just finished my taxes and feel excellent. It’s beertime, fo’ sho’!

And let me just say that I’m sooooooo happy this Iraq war is costing our household $100 a month. It’s great the the government sees fit to use our hard-earned cash to assign profiteering contracts to favored companies while they try to stop the bleeding in Iraq. How excellent that this military effort has refocused our endeavors away from Afghanistan and Bin Laden and left our military de-moralized and stretched beyond any ability to respond quickly or effectively to an unforeseen event. Magnificently, the Iraqi infrastructure is in shambles, with water and electricity function merely based on hope and luck.

It is just such a privilege for me to contribute my income to one of the biggest military blunders in world history and allow Bush and Cheney to perpetuate the fairy tale that they felt the responsibility to spread U.S.-flavored Democracy to the Middle East. How funny that their culture doesn’t adapt readily to our philosophical governmental institution. ESPECIALLY, since you can barely call U.S. government a functioning democracy.

Ah yes, I have much to be thankful for. Just like all those blessed Iraqis.

Personal Update - The End of the World is Near

Good evening! The impossible has happened! I got engaged last week - everyone must look to the sky to see either swines flying or christians ascending to the heavens! I suggest sombrero’s to protect from the pig poo.

Needless to say, my free time has been filled with research regarding nuptials, rather than politics. This week I will return to my wily writing and baseless to well-researched opinions!

If any of you out there have advice regarding prenuptial agreements or taxes for newly married couples, I would greatly appreciate any words you can offer. Also, I suggest storing canned goods and non-perishable food items. I’m not kidding. If someone has asked for my hand in an eternal commitment of love and devotion, Armageddon is just around the corner…

Jury Duty Sucks!

Maybe if I’d gotten picked to actually sit on a jury, I’d have had a good time proportioning justice as my civil duty requires. We have crime here in Tarrant County! Hell, every time Cops is on, it always says Fort Worth Police Department. You’d think we were in Compton with the amount of episodes Cops devotes to this town. One time, when I lived in Austin and was at a dance club, a man approached my girlfriends and me, asking if we had any ecstasy. One of my girlfriends read him the riot act and shooed him away. She was a goody-two shoes. One time, she accidentally ate a pot-brownie and thought she was going to die. Apparently, this dance club was the ecstasy hot-spot in Austin, but we were unawares never having delved greatly into the rave scene. Later, we saw the man exiting the club followed by some po-po and a camera crew. Cops. I could have been famous, daddy! If only I’d had some ecstasy…. I stayed away from it after one of my girlfriends had sex with this guy on a pool table in the middle of a party after taking some when were in high school. When we were in college, she used to snort cocaine on the end of a key and shout, “I’m king of the world!” Titanic had just come out. Strangely, I felt the need to stay away from cocaine because of her, too. She was a good friend.

Anyway, back to jury duty - it was lame. This crazy man was running the metal detector and x-ray machine by himself and kept yelling at people to walk through the machine normally, not too fast or too slow. This was interesting because when I lived in Oklahoma City (as punishment for a crime in a past life, no doubt), I went to the court house there and nary was a metal detector present. I didn’t think anyone was going to pop a cap in my ass, but still…I saw some angry people. This morning, I forgot I had my little Swiss Army key chain knife, but the mean metal detector dude said it was small enough and I get to keep it. It’s only $12, but I would have been pissed to have it taken away.

Once I checked in, we waited for a couple of hours in this big room. I brought The Prometheus Deception by Robert Ludlum to read. It’s pretty good, so far. Then we’re told all the cases were dismissed and this judge - who does not look like a judge - comes in and tells us the cases were settled because the parties involved knew we jurors were ready with our impartial verdict! What a crock.

Then we collected our 10 bucks cash and were free to go with certificate in hand that says we don’t have to attend jury duty for two more years. I still might go if I get a summons by mistake - but don’t tell anyone.

And, btw, all you people who believe illegal immigrants will be the downfall of this country, no one checked my I.D. Not once. I could have been this undocumented, illegal Irish immigrant with an uncanny American accent and served on a jury! The horror!!

What Would You Do If Your Neighbor’s Dog Bit You?

Given:

• Your neighbor is a good person and is not irresponsible.
• The dog is a deaf blue heeler, that the neighbor exercises by throwing a tennis ball for it, unleashed in the front yard.
• You were speaking to your neighbor when the dog led a sneak attack that wasn’t necessarily aggressive - just a blue heeler, doing what it does, which is keep things in line.
• The bite didn’t break the skin, just caused bruising around the ankle.
• The neighbor apologized multiple times, legitimately felt bad and had her nurse roommate come over to look at the wound.

I don’t think I can get all self-righteous on her and say I think her dog should be on leash whenever it isn’t in the backyard. At the same time, I always keep my dog on leash when it’s not in the back yard. But, I don’t want to sour relations between us, we’ll probably live here for a while and have a few loud parties from time to time (like this weekend - St. Patty’s Day, hell yeah!). And one time, when I was grilling, the lid to my Grill Pam (love that shit!) popped off and over the fence onto their driveway and I forgot to go the next day and apologize. Maybe god was punishing me. Discipline by deaf blue heeler.